betrothal

Distinctions

erusin (אירוסין)

The Biblical term (Shemos 22:15, Devarim 20:7, 22:23-27, 28:30). Chazal read morashah in Devarim 33:4 as though me'orasah, betrothed, so that the Torah is betrothed to Klal Yisrael as a wife to her husband (Berachos 57a, Pesachim 49b). Rabbi Shalom Mansoura of Sanna: erusin is an expression of tying. Rabbi Yitzchak Ratzabi gives two ways to take that. Rabbi Baruch HaLevi Epstein reads א-ר-ש as equivalent to א-ר-ז, since sin/samech and zayin interchange, and א-ר-ז is something packed tightly (Yechezkel 27:24; modern Hebrew arizah, a package), and Rabbi Epstein adds that א-ר-ז is related by metathesis to eizor, a tight belt. Alternatively, Rabbi Ratzabi suggests, Rabbi Mansoura may mean a simpler metathesis with no letter replaced: transpose the last two letters and get א-ס-ר, to tie or bind, the betrothed woman being tied to her husband and released only by a get or by his death. Rabbi Yitzchak Vana: arusah is from eres, poison, since one who approaches her illicitly incurs the death penalty as from a snake or scorpion. Another Yemenite scholar cited by Rabbi Ratzabi: arusah as in aris, a sharecropper who holds a partial claim, since the betrothed husband has a partial claim on her (adultery applies) but not a full one (he does not yet inherit her). Rabbi Ratzabi's own two suggestions turn on the interchange of aleph and ayin: ע-ר-ס, to mix (as in arisah, kneaded dough), for the joining of man and wife, or eres, a bed.

kiddushin (קידושין)

The term of the Mishnah, and the name of the masechta. Kiddushin 2b: the Rabbanan Savorai ask why the Mishnah (Kiddushin 2:1) uses it rather than the Biblical word, and answer that it is from hekdesh, consecrated property: he forbids her to all others as consecration forbids all men to benefit. Rabbi Yitzchak Vana: the parallel to hekdesh is that betrothal, like consecration, raises the severity of the prohibition on one who transgresses with her. Rabbi Alexander Sender Shor and Rabbi Elazar Moshe Horowitz: mid'oraisa the betrothed couple may already live together, and only the rabbinic enactment forbids her to her own husband until nissuin (Kallah 1:1, Rashi to Kesuvos 8a); so only after that enactment does she resemble hekdesh, forbidden to everyone including her husband, and that is why the term is the Rabbis' and not the Torah's. The Taz (to Even HaEzer 34:2) holds that the two-stage structure itself confers a kedushah found nowhere else; Rabbi Klein offers, as his own extension of that, the argument that the Rabbis coined kiddushin because they were the ones who instituted the two-step framework, while from the Torah's perspective that added holiness does not yet exist and betrothal is simply erusin, a word implying nothing about holiness.

Tosafos (to Kiddushin 2b) read kiddushin differently, from kiddush in the sense of preparing or designating (Shemos 19:10, Bamidbar 11:18); kedeishah, a harlot, is a cognate because she is set aside for a purpose (Rashi to Bereishis 38:21 and Devarim 23:18). Others, the column notes, take kedeishah as related to the Akkadian qadistu, "woman of special status," a definition that fits both a harlot and a wife, which led Professor Shamma Friedman of the Academy of the Hebrew Language to entertain it as a possible etymology for kiddushin itself. Either way, these approaches hold that kiddushin has nothing to do with holiness or consecration as such. Two supports: Rabbi Avraham HaLevi of Barcelona (Chiddushei HaRa'ah to Kiddushin 2b) and Rabbi Yosef Ibn Ezra (Atzmos Yosef) note that if mekudeshes meant consecrated, the groom would be forbidding her to himself, which he plainly does not intend; and Rabbi Eliezer Ashkenazi notes that consecration would call for mukdeshes, whereas the formula reads mekudeshes, set aside for him. Tosafos (to Kiddushin 7b) nonetheless apply the hekdesh paradigm in halachah: one who betroths "half" a woman with the language of kiddushin effects a full betrothal, as consecrating half an animal sanctifies all of it, but one who uses the language of erusin effects only half.

Dr. Michael Satlow suggests that the Mishnaic kiddushin is a loanword from the Greek legal term ekdosis, the bride's father handing the girl over to her new husband. Rabbi Klein calls the proposal fascinating but hard to accept, since handing the bride over is the definition of nissuin (Kesubos 4:5), not of kiddushin; he allows, though, that the Rabbis may have adopted the Greek word and modified its pronunciation and sense, as they often did with foreign words.

nissuin (נישואין)

The second stage, effected by chuppah, after which the couple live together. Kesubos 4:5 defines it as the father handing the daughter over to the husband. Only after nissuin is the rabbinic prohibition between the betrothed pair lifted.

shidduchin (שידוכין)

The Talmudic term for what is colloquially called engagement, a couple who have agreed to marry but have not done so.

Rendering guidance

• Erusin and kiddushin, standing alone for the halachic act: "betrothal." Never "engagement," and avoid "inchoate marriage," which is heavy and obscure.
• Nissuin: "marriage," or "the second stage of marriage" where the two-stage structure is the subject. Shidduchin: "engagement" or "the match."
• Where a passage contrasts erusin with kiddushin (Tosafos to Kiddushin 7b), English "betrothal" will absorb both. Keep the Hebrew terms and translate the concept: "betrothal effected in the language of kiddushin."
• Mekudeshes in the formula under the chuppah: "you are betrothed to me," or "designated to me," following Tosafos and the Ra'ah. "Consecrated to me" imports the very sense those Rishonim rule out.
• Hekdesh in this discussion: "consecrated property," so that the analogy to kiddushin stays visible.
• Trap: a Hebrew passage may use kiddushin for the act and kedushah for the holiness of the union in adjacent lines (the Taz). Do not render both by the same English word; the argument depends on their being felt as related but distinct.

Sources

Rabbi Reuven Chaim Klein, "Holy Matrimony," What's in a Word?, Ohr Somayach, 15 Tishrei 5781 (2020-10-03): https://articles.ohr.edu/articles/holy-matrimony; raw text in sources/whats-in-a-word/raw/8883-holy-matrimony.md. Primary loci: Devarim 33:4 with Berachos 57a and Pesachim 49b; Shemos 22:15; Devarim 20:7, 22:23-27, 28:30; Kiddushin 2b and 7b with Tosafos; Mishnah Kiddushin 2:1; Kesubos 4:5 and Rashi to Kesuvos 8a; Maseches Kallah 1:1; Turei Zahav to Even HaEzer 34:2; Shemos 19:10, Bamidbar 11:18; Rashi to Bereishis 38:21 and Devarim 23:18; Yechezkel 27:24. The article cites the erusin verse as Shemos 22:15 and Rav Hirsch's comment as Shemos 22:16; these are the same verse under Hebrew and English numbering respectively, and the entry uses the Hebrew form throughout.